Journey into The Mist ( Toshi & Kaji )

" Well the first one Was very snobby, she bossed around Kaji and belittled him when I was in the room needless to say I kicked her out . . . well I gently kicked her out" she chuckled at her little joke.

" the second one was nice she was polite I approved when i met her however Ryouken didnt she couldnt handle his teasing and fainted to often . . . they tried dating but they never really 'clicked' they were too much alike and they are still good friend she works at the bookstore in the east side of the village, she was also a civilian . . . i think Kaji didnt want to drag her into the chaos of being in a ninja family" she sighed

"Oh..." Toshi said, looking down again, sighing. "Did he say he loved them?" She looked up a little, staring into Ayame's eyes, confused and hopeful.

" He said he loved you Awwe" Ayame recomposed herself "no he never said he loved them. . .He never blushed like he does when Ryouken teases him about you, he never took them to the Susanoo hot spring or slept in the same bed with them " she told toshi as she hugged her "I have a gut feeling your right for my son Toshi chan "

Toshi sniffed, keeping her tears back and hugged Ayame too, burying her face in her neck. "Ayame-san, please don't...don't hate me for what I am going to say," she said, and gulped. "I am not sure...if I can love him."

" Tell me your why you think you cant Toshi Chan " Mrs. Nara asked

"Well... I want to, I really do," she said quickly. "It's just...I feel like there's something holding me back. Well, more like someone. Like I still love someone else."

Ayame paled slightly "I...I...see well then " her voice was cracking " Well just know your always welcome in this house Toshi Chan and Neko-Mi of course " she smiled weakly

Toshi lowered her head sadly. "I... I'm sorry Ayame-san...Please don't hate me for it," she said, and sniffed. She smiled sadly, bowed and walked back up to Kaji's room.

Ayame went about her business doing dishes, laundry and various other chores . . . just to keep her mind off Toshi's confession.

----
Kaji walked home from the bar he had one drink and decided to leave his father there. He felt a pain in his chest but ignored it blaming the sake he had
he open his door and walked upstairs after telling his mother his father was still the bar " eh dad is not cool to hang around with" he sighed opening his bedroom door

Toshi was sleeping, face down, not bothering to change her clothes. She looked frustrated and agitated, and from the looks of the tear stains on her face and shirt, she was depressed. Very, very, very depressed. She breathed in and out slowly, clutching a handful of sheets. Even as she slept, her tears flowed down her face to her pillow. "...ngh..."

" Toshi - Chan" he whispered crawling onto the bed he draped an arm over her " Toshi chan are you alright did Kaa-san say something to upset you" he asked still whispering

Toshi opened an eye and looked at him, sleepily. "No... I'm just a bad person, that's all," she said, muffled against her pillow. She snuggled closer to him, covering both of them in sheets. "I'm sorry...."

Kaji frowned "Your not a bad person" he whispered "now tell me why you were crying"

"Because I'm a bad person," she mumbled, nuzzling her head against his chest. "Kaji-kun...you deserve much more than me." Toshi sniffed and kissed his neck lightly.

" why do you think that . . . is it because your 'cursed' or your a mom or you were a 'slave' 'casue i dont care about any of that I just want you " he told her

"It's because... I might not be able to love you," she mumbled. "I feel like this something that's holding me back is a someone...someone I might still love."

" I see ... so the pain i felt in my chest wasnt bad sake after all " he chuckled the laughing turned to tears and then he recomposed himself "Toshi - chan I will always love you, you know that right" she made him feel like he could take on a kage, her self discovery and confession of loving someone else ripped his heart out but he couldnt stop caring for her. He smiled " I knew you needed to go back to the leaf to make things right but. . ." he trailed off "I will wait for you Toshi chan . . . wait for you till I die because . . . I love you ... So tomorrow your going to travel back to fire country with my father . . . since if you stayed now things would just be to weird " he finished

"No, I don't wanna go back! Not there! He's there! I'm sorry, Kaji-kun, I'm sorry...but I don't wanna go... Let me stay with you, please," she begged, and her tears revived themselves.

"shh shh ... it okay ... I just dont understand . . . the person you love is in the village right" he asked kissing away her tears. " I let you stay . . . Hell Kaa-san wouldnt hear of you leaving if you didnt truly want to go"

Toshi sniffed again. "I never want to go back there again...the only reason I would go there is for Miru-san," she mumbled, snuggling up to him. "...what do you want to do today?"

" I dont think i can do much of anything " he sighed his heart was beating fast he wanted to hurt whomever Toshi 'loved' . . . " Toshi Chan what about 'Aiden' and your kids wouldnt you like to see them aswell " he asked after a few minutes of silence

"They followed me to hell, they'll follow me anywhere," she said, smiling weakly. Toshi put a hand on his chest and frowned. "Your heartbeat...Kaji-kun, what's wrong?"

" Im upset naturally I pour my heart out to you and I find out you love somebody else ... im angry and sad and happy and so many other things " he said quickly, her touch seemed to calm him " You can heal me no problem but I can never seem to help you" he sighed

Toshi hugged him tight, mustering up all the warmth and love she could give. "...Kaji..."

~~~~

There was a ring at the front door. A visitor.

Ayame went to the door " Um Can I help you?" she asked